Sans vs Isaac
Pre-Analysis Alexander: Sin is a danger, whether you’re using it or you’re punishing it. Many characters in fiction have sinned or have battled sin before, but these two take it to a new level. D1G1T: Sans, the laziest skeleton and second-to-last boss in Undertale! Alexander: And Isaac, the child who would be sacrificed to God from the Binding of Isaac. D1G1T: I’m D1G1T and this my friend, Alexander! Alexander: And today, we research these two! Isaac (The Binding of Isaac) Alexander: Isaac and his mother lived in a small house on the top of a hill. He would draw while his mother watched- D1G1T: Spoiler alert! His mom tried to kill him! Alexander: Well, there goes my narrative. But yeah, his mom thought she was hearing the voice of God telling her to give Isaac a good stabbing. Luckily, our little buddy managed to escape through a trapdoor in his room leading to a basement filled with eyeless copies of himself crying blood, spiders, flies, living excrement and bombs. D1G1T: That sounds so messed up. Alexander: I know, right? But anyways, if he was going to survive down there and further below, he would need a pretty powerful arsenal to help him. And he definitely has some DEEP pockets. The Fly Protector is a small white fly that orbits around Isaac and protects him from enemies trying to smash into him full-force. D1G1T: The Continuum makes Isaac’s tears go through walls, only to enter through the opposite wall. Alexander: The Meat sends Isaac into a bloodrage, boosting his health and the power of his tears. D1G1T: The Magic Mushroom increases all of Isaac’s stats. Alexander: And finally, The Torn Photo makes him fire his tears faster. D1G1T: Wow, that’s so many things! Alexander: That’s only a drop in the bucket, compared to his full arsenal. With said items, he conquered the likes of Monstro, Lord of the Flies, The Gate, Satan, The Seven Deadly Sins and their super counterparts, The Four Horsemen, Gish, Peep, and eventually his own mother. D1G1T: But he’s not exactly the best in combat, only being able to shoot with his tears. Alexander: But these items should give him enough power to give him an edge…. possibly... Sans D1G1T: Long ago, humans and monsters lived together in har- Alexander: Spoiler alert! They had war, monsters were trapped underground, a kid fell down, kid killed almost every monster and was only stopped by a skeleton who told puns. D1G1T: I now know what irony tastes like… Alexander: Stay on point, please. Sans is known for his bad puns, mediocre taste in food and a FREAKING DIFFICULT fight. D1G1T: Wanna talk about his many, many attacks? Alexander: That’s what we get paid for, right? Sans uses a form of magic that can alter the properties of the soul, making it affected by gravity. This, in turn, can be used to San’s advantage as he can also use a form of telekinesis upon the soul that slams it against a surface, whether it be flat or spiked. D1G1T: He also has many laser-shooting tools of destruction known as Gaster Blasters! They can take up plenty of space, leaving very few places to go for safety. Then there’s a variety of bone attacks he has, which can be combined with the previous attacks. Alexander: Whoa! That’s a lot of attacks for a fleshless comedian. He’s incredibly fast, I’ll give him that much. However, his stamina is a bit…. Lacking. D1G1T: He also has a sort of poison effect called Karmic Retribution that slowly takes away the poor sod who takes a hit from Sans. It’s only fatal flaw is that it’s more effective when someone has sinned a lot more often. Alexander: But for all that, Sans has got more talent than expected. Fight Sans waited in the judgement hall for the the child that was responsible for the genocide of his friends and family to show up. “So kid, you’ve been-” Instead of seeing the Fallen Child that killed everyone, Sans saw a small, bald child staring back at him. However, the sin from him was much higher than the other kid’s LOVE. “Sorry kiddo.” He summoned two Gaster Blasters. “It’s just business.” FIGHT! Sans fired Gaster Blasters at Isaac, who outran the beams that Sans was shooting him with. Suddenly, Isaac felt himself being pulled to the left wall with immense force. Isaac immediately gets smashed against the wall, as Sans forces him to hit the other wall, which was coated with bones. Isaac shoots at the wall opposite of Sans, causing them to pop out of the wall behind Sans. Sans dodged the tears, firing more Gaster Blasters at Isaac, who dodges at the last second. However, Isaac wasn’t aware of another group of Gaster Blasters behind him that blasted him to oblivion. Sans took the time to sit down and take a break. “Well, that was easier than I expected.” Post-Analysis Alexander: Whoo! What a great match! D1G1T: And I was really rooting for Isaac, too… Alexander: I couldn’t see him winning with what he was given, though. Even with his boosts, Sans just outclassed him in practically every category. D1G1T: Isaac’s only real advantages were durability, stamina and strength, but Sans could easily counter that by cornering Isaac. Alexander: Well, looks like Sans earned a sinsational win. D1G1T: Sans wins! SUMMARY: Sans: ++ Karmic Retribution is ultimately effective + Speed + Arsenal - Stamina - Strength - Durability Isaac: + Stamina + Strength + Durability - Arsenal - Speed -- Cannot cancel Karmic Retribution Category:Year 1 Battles Category:Binding of Isaac Combatants Category:Undertale Combatants